Baby Marigold

My baby in heaven,

Two nights ago I told your dad I wanted to name you Marigold, a beautiful flower if you are a baby girl. I do not have a name yet if you are a baby boy. But I got a good feeling that you are a baby boy. You know I have a hard time looking for baby boy names.

I may not tell the whole world that you are already two and a half months old in my tummy but I told the people that are close to me that you are coming pretty soon and meet your beautiful mommy. Baby I love you with all my heart even if you are as little as a peanut, but of course you are mommy's peanut. 

Do you know baby that I already have plans on your baby shower and you and your kuya Xian's room. Yes baby, you are suppose to share for now with your big brother Xian a room since our house is too small for us. 

Mommy wasn't healthy enough to carry you. I tried hard to eat healthy, sleep early and take my vitamins so you will be healthy too. I didn't even over work my self so you will be safe there but you let go. The night you left mommy, I had a weird dream. I did not know, you gave up already. 

My little peanut, I am so sorry. But I promise, I need to step up and take care of Xian's health too not just mine, even if it means leaving Colorado for good. I am sure daddy Cc learned his lesson already. Daddy Cc was very sad too.

I will take my time in mourning and do it how I want it. I am so hurt that you left but the only consolation I have in my heart is I know you are in heaven. I love you and I will always remember this day.

Forever Love, Your Mom,

  Lou